Friday, January 21, 2011

Contentment

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not, remember that what you now have was once among the things you hoped for." -Epicurus

Its crazy how in a world of so much change, it still feels like some things never do. It sometimes seems like everything in life spins in orbit with the earth. Today's life-lessons and revelations will be the same ones you re-learn in a few years.. months.. or days. God is a God of second chances, but when it comes to the 12 billion and sixth chance... doesnt it start getting a little old? How is he not exhausted and how have we STILL not learned? Human nature is the one thing that binds us to the world. Its power overcomes  us with a natural, instinctual pull. The one thing we are called to fight against is the very thing that we are.

Contentment is my constant struggle. When i finally feel like I can add it to my tool belt of "understood and mastered" conflicts, it falls right through and smashes me again. It isn't that i dont see how incredibly blessed  i am, but i think thats the sneaky part about contentment... it says"look you have all of these things, now for the icing on the cake you need this!" or "Hey look that grass is really green and soft over there you should just take a square of it and add it to your lawn" Lies. I dont need more icing and i dont need "greener" grass.
There will always be things that i dont have, places that i will never see, the ultimate body figure that i will never achieve... but those fixations only obstruct my view of all the amazing things that i do have, and the things that are in store for me in heaven.

True contentment may never come. Maybe what my heart longs for cant be found on this earth... my heart strings are tied to heaven and the pull is strong. But in the mean time, God has given me an amazing life... a better husband then i ever dreamed of, such and amazing daughter, a cute little house, and the most amazing, loving, and accepting family and friends. This is the day that the Lord has made and i will be glad and rejoice in it. Thank you God for chosing and adopting me into your family!!

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